How to be the Mona Lisa of the table? Knowing how to be silent, observing without intervening, feeling ignored: deaf people are familiar with this reality.
This phenomenon, called Dinner Table Syndrome (DTS), describes a common sensation they experience during group conversations with hearing people, particularly at meals or family gatherings. It reflects the accessibility barriers these people encounter in social settings. This topic has been studied at American universities such as Gallaudet and California State University : https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200922-why-dinner-table-syndrome-is-getting-worse-for-deaf-people
Around a lively table, conversations flow freely, but for a deaf person, following these exchanges is a challenge. Physically present but socially isolated, they become spectators, like a Mona Lisa on the sidelines. Add to this phrases that are as awkward as they are painful: “I’ll explain later,” “It’s not important,” “Try to follow,” or even “Did you turn on your hearing aids?”
The consequences of SDR are multiple and profound:
- Social exclusion: the deaf person cannot follow conversations and feels isolated;
- Cognitive fatigue: trying to read lips or guess the content of discussions requires intense and exhausting concentration;
- Frustration and sadness: the feeling of being excluded can lead to profound rejection or overwhelming loneliness, especially when it occurs in a family setting.
- Often, hearing people are unaware of the challenges deaf people face in participating in discussions. Due to a lack of awareness, they do not adapt their communication, which reinforces isolation. As a result, deaf people avoid these events, preferring evenings with friends.
To remedy this exclusion, simple measures can be implemented:
- raise awareness among hearing people;
- learn and use sign language;
- reach out to a loved one to resume communication;
- Encourage clear turn-taking: avoiding having everyone speak at once allows the deaf person to better follow the conversation;
- Transcribe: Use mobile apps that allow you to transcribe their conversations, such as Ava or Google Transcribe;
- Have a sign language interpreter. Even if it’s not easy to include someone from outside the family, this can facilitate communication.
- Invite one or two deaf friends; the presence of several deaf people allows everyone to be more attentive and thus restore balance. It also allows everyone to occasionally speak freely in sign language.
Only come at the beginning, and give other guests advance notice.
In conclusion, Dinner Table Syndrome is much more than a communication difficulty: it’s an often underestimated experience of social isolation. Efforts to fully include deaf people in social interactions are not only necessary, they are an act of respect and recognition of their place in society.
Laura Guernalec, Médiapi